Labels Itch...Rip Them Off!

The dangers in accepting a label as truth is that it can shut down your potential for growth. 


Well it's pretty obvious what I am going to be discussing, but I am going to delve into both sides of this. The labeler and the labeled.

     Now the labeled, the affected, can choose not to be. If you read the blog often you know how I feel about choices. You cannot control what people say or do to you, or what life throws at you. However you can control how you respond to it all. No, I am not saying it is easy, but one thing you can control in life is your attitude, and your drive. If these things are in order, your choices will line up. Labels were put in place to limit those defined by them. The labeled are pigeonholed into a certain category in efforts to keep them from growing. Now, though labels can be positive as well as negative, they are still a constriction. There is always more. You don't stop growing until you stop making an effort to do so. The effort itself is growth. Do not let anyone tell you who or what you are unless you are willing to accept that as truth and stay stagnant in that place. I personally hate labels. I don't like them on my t-shirts, pillows, dishes, and certainly not on me as an individual, so I rip them off. Do not let others constricted perceptions to define you because your growth will also be constricted.
     Now for the labelers. It is  human nature to label things, not people. When we see someone and feel the need to define them with what they appear to be it is because there is something within ourselves that we need to check. If you cannot encounter others and not immediately categorize them you need to take the window you look at others through, toss it out, and find a mirror asap. The only person you should have a desire to define is yourself. Find out who YOU are, and it wont matter who or what someone else is. When you judge another you do not define them, you define yourself - Wayne Dyer.

Think about it!

Remember...YOU be Your biggest fan!
Now get out there and make it happen captain!

Want to discuss this or other posts?  Comment below the post you are referring to, or simply click my email address and I will respond to you within 48 hours.

Because you choose to be!

“Sometimes your joy is the source of your smile, but sometimes your smile can be the source of your joy.”
- Thich Nhat Hanh



    Lately I have been paying attention to my circumstances in relation to my mood. I am always smiling, but that doesn't mean I'm not going through. I have realized that I am at a point in my life that my happiness, much like my love, and motivation, is not circumstantial. I chose to smile regardless, and I find happiness in my ability to smile in spite of. So whether or not I am going through something crappy, our I am on cloud nine I have joy. 
     Often times we wear or circumstances. If your heart is broken your face is. If you're struggling you look distressed. If you are angry, you look like the grouch. SMILE FOR PETE'S SAKE! Honestly, if you can muster up a genuine smile you will feel happier! Instead of harping on the bad and honing in on what ever it is that ails you, focus on everything going on in your life that doesn't suck. There is something trust me, you are alive aren't you? Remember it could always be worse, and if you think it can't, it can only get better! 
     If your smile can improve someone else's mood why cant it improve yours? I firmly believe that your happiness does NOT have to be circumstantial. Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans.- John Lennon. That said, why in the world would you let circumstances, i.e. LIFE, which is capricious at best, be the foundation on which you build your mood? 
   The only thing you can control in life is you. Your kids will rebel, your relationship may not be perfect, your job's main requirement is to be flexible and adaptable, but you, you can control how you feel in the midst of all of these things. Do it! Be conscious of your expressions and your feelings and  change it! I have used this quote before, but, “If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude. Don't complain.”- Maya Angelou.


Be HAPPY because you CHOOSE to be!

Think about it!

Remember...YOU be Your biggest fan!
Now get out there and make it happen captain!

Want to discuss this or other posts?  Comment below the post you are referring to, or simply click my email address and I will respond to you within 48 hours.

A loss, or the best thing you never had?

"When something or someone leaves you, and you truly get over it, you begin to look to the next thing life has to offer, and often you find that is the best thing it has to offer" - Jasmine Hale (me)




   I know I typically start with a quote from an author, and technically I did. The title of this blog is "A loss, or the best thing you never had", and that is exactly what we are going to talk about. Often we read, hear, see things about heartache and how when you lose something you lose a part of you , or you realize you needed it more than ever, or any of those other incredibly irritating cliches. I am not saying they are not true in some cases, but I am saying that we must learn the difference. We have to know when to dwell, never, to learn, always, and to grow, constantly. 
  It is always okay to cry if you feel the need because that is often involved in the recovery process. It is always okay to remember  because that is often involved in growing wiser. It is always necessary to separate the seasonal things, and people from the permanent because that determines weather we reach our destiny or stay stagnant in a comfortably uncomfortable season. Know if someone leaves, or something changes and you were not the cause, being that you did everything you should have, there is something better out there. 
   It is when we get to the things that were meant to be in our lives permanently we can look back and appreciate the bad for making a way for the great. The distress removes itself and paves a way for your success, your happiness, your destiny. 

Think about it.

Remember...YOU be Your biggest fan!
Now get out there and make it happen captain!

Want to discuss this or other posts?  Comment below the post you are referring to, or simply click my email address and I will respond to you within 48 hours.


 

Within Ourselves

"We may act sophisticated and worldly but I believe we feel safest when we go inside ourselves and find home, a place where we belong and maybe the only place we really do"- Maya Angelou, Letters to My Daughter



Well let me first start by apologizing for my hiatus.

     Now that the pleasantries are out of the way we can get to today's topic. Finding comfort and validation within yourself. I have struggled (past tense) with this throughout my life as every one has. From about the time you enter school, until, well there is no end if you never resolve the issue, we look for somewhere to belong, someone to emulate, and some way to feel comfort and peace. We strive for acceptance and validation from our parents, to our spouses, and our superiors. We yearn for a peace and comfort from anywhere we can get it. When a situation falls through we immediately fear what people will think or say. We fear judgement or rejection more than we do the failure.
     What I took from this part of  Ms. Angelou's book is that when we do ultimately find that which we cant in others, reliably that is, within ourselves, we find what it is that we have been searching for, and we never lose it. We may walk with confidence and speak with prowess, but it is because we emulate that which is within ourselves. The comfort you find in understanding yourself and exactly who you are gives you the confidence to exude the things that you know makes you great. You'll find that people will see what you've been trying to portray because it'll come naturally and effortlessly. 
     Now happiness we know comes from two things, security and faith. What we neglect to remember is that through faith we find security. Faith being "the substance of things hoped for, [and] the evidence of things not seen"- Hebrews 11:1. Self explanatory. Now Miss Angelou speaks of finding a happy place within ourselves. Of  finding a place within ourselves, in the midst of all of the chaos, sadness, hurt, and disappointment that we can go to for comfort. My place is the beach. I went to the beach with my best friend during a very hard time in my life, one of the hardest, and I remember walking in the ocean and looking out. I never wanted to forget what I saw. It was a perfect day. I looked out into the ocean, and all I could see was Ocean and a beautiful sky. I thought to myself, now this, this is what peace would look like, if it had a picture definition. Simple but beautiful in every way. So when I find myself yearning for peace and simplicity I close my eyes and go to that place. So take a minute and think of something that brings you happiness and go there. Take that peace with you everywhere you go.

Think about it.

Remember...YOU be Your biggest fan!
Now get out there and make it happen captain!

Want to discuss this or other posts?  Comment below the post you are referring to, or simply click my email address and I will respond to you within 48 hours.

 

    

Are You Putting Your Trust in Fickle People and Things?

“But man is a fickle and disreputable creature and perhaps, like a chess-player, is interested in the process of attaining his goal rather than the goal itself."

-Fyodor Dostoyevsky

   Oh how I love this topic as it helps us open up our eyes so much. The issue with fickle people or things is just that..they are fickle! We put concrete feelings and expectations in the most unstable things. The most unstable of these being people! You cannot form anything concrete based upon the things you expect to happen from others. Why? Because man's ideals will change, their feelings will change, and so will their motives in most cases. Your goal may be in line with their goal at one point in time, however if their goal changes the two of you will no longer be in sync, working on two different things, walking down two different paths.

  You should first take from this that the only one who has your interest in mind is you, and God. He will want the best for you and if you listen, put you back in track when you vere. Your steps are ordered. All you have to do is follow directions. Yes, just like baking a cake. You do exactly what the recipie says you will have one awesome cake. If you do exactly what He tells you, you cant help but be successful. Not chosing to do so is no longer ignorance, it is stupidity borderline insanity. Why? Because of the definition of the two. Ignorance is just not knowing any better. It means you dont do simply because you do not know. Now you have been educated, your eyes have been opened. Now you are venturing into the territory of stupidity. Stupidity is lacking in power to absorb ideas or impressions, being dense, as in  thickheaded and imperviousness to ideas. Making the choice to avoid and use wisdom given to you by those who know, and continuing to do the same old thing and trust in the same old things. Which brings us to insanity. We all know this as doing the same exact thing and expecting different results. I was told when someone tells you something you are to believe them the first time, and if they show you and you still do nothing, "your bad". Look at the signs. When my friends show me that they are putting all of their trust into people I say "How's that working for you? " They often respond with things like " No one is perfect" , "We all make mistakes", or my favorite, " I'll give it another chance, again". I then respond, so, "If you know no one, and I do mean no one, even me, is perfect, why do you continue to depend on them?" Why put your trust in something that changes as often as the weather in the south? That makes no sense.

   Let God and youj be the only ones that can affect your future because with those two things, in order ,will not fail you. Now, you are human, which is why you need him, because you are just as fickle as those whom you are not to trust. With him you gain new focus, you will be shocked at how your eyes open up. How colors seem brighter, your vision becomes clearer, and that which seems so far away gets closer and closer.

 The second thing you should take from this is that you cannot be disappointed when man does waiver. It is in his/her nature. It is a part of being human. It is up to you to realize that and not put too much into it. For example, you have a job interview and you call your friend for a ride, their plans change and they cant take you, but they are the only way you have arranged to get you where you are going, so you dont make it and you have just lost an opportunity. Make sense now? Depend on you and God and not only will you arrive at your destination, you will gain the desires of YOUR heart.

Think about it.

Remember...YOU be Your biggest fan!
Now get out there and make it happen captain!

Want to discuss this or other posts?  Comment below the post you are referring to, or simply click my email address and I will respond to you within 48 hours.

Nothing Less

"When you are satisfied internally, you are less likely to settle externally." -Pastor F. Haynes



   I would like to first start off by congratulating the Ravens on winning the Superbowl, Beyonce for rocking it, and all of the great commercials that had me laughing in the meantime in between time. Also expressing sorrow that we will not be able to watch football for the next 6 or so months. Now back to our regularly scheduled programing.
   The quote above speaks volumes, it's true no matter who you are, what you do, and what it is you aspire to be or have.
  What he is saying is that once you are happy on the inside, and you're not yearning for anything internally, when you are truly satisfied, you wont settle for anything on the outside. Whether it be a job, a mate, a house, a friend, a car, behavior from your kiddos, if it doesn't line up you will not tolerate it. If it can be changed that's just what you'll do, but if it can't you can kick it to the curb and remain satisfied.
  When you are dissatisfied, you do not typically think logically. You are always trying to scratch an itch so to  speak. It's like going to the grocery store when you are starving and walking out with everything under the sun. Some stuff you'll eat, other stuff you won't and it'll wind up molded in your fridge or in the trash. Either way you have spent your money on something that didn't satisfy you. You waisted your money. Now, you go into the grocery store on a full tummy with a clear logical mind. You get the food you'll eat, pass up what you wont, and probably walk out right at or under budget. You got exactly what you needed to keep you satisfied and left the junk behind.
   When we enter into situations and we are dissatisfied we are more likely to start to pick up the junk, settle for less than the best, something less that what we desire.What we don't realize is that junk will do nothing for us. It will rot us as opposed to building us up. It will take up our space, time, and money. Instead of gaining satisfaction we increase our dissatisfaction because we have added on disappointment from the junk that we settled for. I hope that you are following me because if you get this, you've got it.
   I challenge you to get satisfied internally and watch how you improve your external situations. Notice how you eliminate the things and people that increase your dissatisfaction. Watch as you notice more or your joy coming from within, your internal satisfaction. Watch as the negative things and people fall off and make room and opportunity for the good things and people. The things and people that will add joy and not disrupt your satisfaction instead of create burdens, or increase your dissatisfaction.

Remember...YOU be Your biggest fan!
Now get out there and make it happen captain!
Want to discuss this or other posts? Comment below the post you are referring to, or simply click my email address and I will respond to you within 48 hours

Stand Out!

"When you do the common things in life in an uncommon way, you will command the attention of the world." - George Washington Carver

   I love love love this quote because it speaks volumes to what we as individuals face when trying to differentiate ourselves from others, trying desperately never to disappear into a crowd. To be that one in a million.
   When I go to auditions or casting calls or interviews I always focus on this thought. "You need to do something to set yourself apart without straying from who you are, because if you project who you truly are, that, will be enough." What can you do to make this one thing, that everyone is capable of doing, seem amazing when being done by you. How can you say basically the same sour thing someone else has said sound like honey? How can great delivery turn the most mediocre of things into something grand? It is because we as people are attracted to unique things.
   Before you do something think about your approach. What do you have to do, how does everyone else do it, how are you going to step it up? Have you ever seen everyone rave over something that seemed small to you? Delivery is the key. Do the common everyday  things in a way that command attention. Once you have some one's attention you have an opportunity.

Remember...YOU be Your biggest fan!
Now get out there and make it happen captain!
Want to discuss this or other posts?  Comment below the post you are referring to, or simply click my email address and I will respond to you within 48 hours